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I Don't Want to Be Your Friend-ster |
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Written by David Batstone
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Don't be offended. I'd like to be your friend, truly. In some cases, we
may even find the opportunity to work on a project together. But
please, don't invite me to join your Linked-In network.
I had to stop the other day and ponder why I have so steadfastly
refused the latest of umpteen invitations I receive to join an online
relationship tree. I suppose I am flattered, on one level, to be a
trusted and valued candidate. Ostensibly, no one would want to expose
their colleagues and friends to an exploitative operator. So I take
each invite as a vote of confidence.
Trust is actually the reason I decline each and every invite.
I carefully nurture my own personal and professional networks, of
course. Just because I come to trust you as an individual based on
experience doesn't mean that I want to leap into your wide world of
associations.
A persuasive argument could be made that I would gain access to more
professional resources and like-minded people. I can't speak for
everyone, but I already feel overwhelmed by the myriad of
relationships and opportunities that I am unable to pursue. Just what I
need: A barrage of emails from people I don't know, but to whom I'm
suddenly linked.
OK, that's a bit over-dramatic because I realize that most networking
sites provide the user a way to block unwanted email traffic. The flash
promise is that joining is new way to hire or sell using your network.
For instance, a good friend of mine received this pitch after joining
LinkedIn: "With more than 124,776 people in the management-consulting
industry, you can find the candidates you are looking for at LinkedIn."
I asked my friend if the offer was attractive, and her feedback hit the
nail on the head: "They fail to make a compelling case for how they are
useful. So I can post and search...why would I do it here rather than
the 5,000 other places I could do that?"
The answer would come down to actual results, I suppose. Enough people
would have to say that they get better results filling job openings and
finding the right consultant through these virtual networks than they
do through other channels. The jury is still out on that judgment.
But now we are getting to the real heart of my reticence to get linked
in. The unnamed motive for joining is that everyone is on the
hunt...for something. I rib my university students who join - in big
numbers, I might add - MyFace.com. The acceptable explanation they give
me for joining: "I just want to meet new people." More like you are
looking for romance, I tease back.
I don't assume that everyone who joins an online network is looking for
sex. But the unnamed motive is to broaden your pool of relationships
for some unmet need or advantage. Again, I don't want to deny anyone
that opportunity. It's just the case that I feel awash in networks that
emerge from my organically developed, personal relationships.
Hey, I even have some good friends that I haven't used yet.
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