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Rude Workplaces Are All the Rage Print E-mail
Written by David Batstone   

You have heard of road rage - the behavior of unstable motorists who react to adversity on the roadway with all the aplomb of a toddler. How do you respond when similar rude and aggressive actions get played out at work?

As job stress mounts, rude behavior at the workplace is becoming altogether too common. Sometimes the rage culture is set by a manager who chooses not to treat his or her employees with common respect. I was a guest at a sales meeting not long ago where the manager berated his sales staff for missing their targets. "If your marriage is not in trouble, it's probably because you are not spending enough time on the road doing your job!" he yelled at top volume. While my jaw dropped to the ground at such naked disrespect, the members of the sales team shifted in their chairs uncomfortably.

Rudeness can raise its ugly head at every level of an organization. I worked in an office once where the administrative assistant to a manager - who performed mostly a secretarial role - terrorized the rest of the staff. She responded in such a belligerent way to most every request that we did everything possible to avoid her. I had to laugh at myself one day when I realized that I was doing part of her job; it was just easier to do it myself than prepare myself for an epic emotional battle over, say, photocopying.

No one likes a verbal lashing. But I find that the worst rudeness at work takes place over email. Workers at all levels take license to write things to their co-workers that they would hesitate to say face-to-face. The aggressiveness of a message typically amplifies over digital channels.

No one should tolerate rudeness and disrespect at work. If tolerated, the enterprise will face a high cost in lower morale and productivity among the staff.

Christine Porath, a professor of management at the Marshall School of Business (USC), does research on the impact of rude behavior in the workplace. Over 90% of the nearly 3000 employees that Porath has surveyed claim experiencing incivility on the job. Of these, 50% report that they lost work time worrying about the incident, 50% contemplated changing jobs to avoid a reoccurence, and 25% cut back their efforts on the job.

Managers above all should take responsibility for nurturing a respectful culture. It starts with their own behavior, personally acknowledging employees who cross their path during the course of a day. They also set the tone in how they conduct work meetings and manage team projects. In concert with showing leadership, managers need to intervene whenever they see rudeness expressed on the job. A simple "We don't treat each other like that here" at times can get the message across. At other times a rude worker needs to be called in for an attitude adjustment. Ongoing incivility cannot be tolerated

But it's not the managers task alone to be the nice police. The minders of the corporate culture can go over best practices with their colleagues that reduce work rage. Sure, it's partly a matter of convenience to write a worker an email rather than walk across the other side of the floor. But if the message involved personal matters, including conflict at work, it is much better to engage work peers in a face-to-face conversation. Email is wonderful for logistics and reporting, but it's lousy for respectful dialogue.

If rude behavior is allowed to flourish at an enterprise, talented people who have self-respect will start heading for the door. Professor Porath found that one in eight workers who were rudely treated by a co-worker left their jobs shortly thereafter. The only workers who stay in a rude workplace are the rage rovers.

Comments
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Robert Cenek - Rude Workplaces
2006-03-09 22:31:18
I am not optimistic for much repair at rude workplaces. Its a malaise that symptomatic of a similar trend in our society. I would say that I experience, on average, 5-10 acts of random rudeness with other members of our great land on a weekly basis. We not are raising an entire generation to function without simple thank yous and excuse me's.

I posted a similar story at my weblog, Cenek Report.

www.cenekreport.com
John Ruddy - Rage@Work & on the Road
2006-03-10 15:08:26
Thanks for the recent Wag.

Interestingly a friend of mine handed in her notice yesterday in part due to a rude associate.

Just a note with regard to road rage - I realise you mention this just to draw out rudeness in the work place. Road Rage... it's somthing I've been thinking about a lot lately and have found there is very little resource for this on the web. I realise this isn't your area of interest.

I've had a few 'run ins' over the years and finally realised why and how I need to adjust my behaviour to stop thes incidents from occuring and escalating.
Gary Bourgeault - Too many workers?
2006-03-13 10:03:12
When you talk about this I?m reminded of something Peter Drucker wrote about concerning there being too much animosity within a business between employees, he said that if there is too many problems, there are probably too many employees.

I know this may sound too simple but if there are so many things to do, how could there be this much time to write all these negative things in the epidemic portions you?re mentioning?
TJ
2006-03-15 00:30:02
I look at bad behaviour as something that has nothing to do with me, but has everything to do with the person who is reacting badly to a situation. This outlook has served me well. Even being a high ranking person in my company, I recently resigned, in part due to passive agressive behaviour in my workplace, but not blatant rudeness. On the other hand, I did often act as a middle man to calm conflicting personalities. It is extremely unfortunate that many employees do not feel respected where they spend most of their waking hours.
Kathy Hayes - solutions to rudeness
2006-03-15 08:37:16
Gandhi said "Be the change you want to see in the world." Aim to be pleasant and thoughtful to everyone you encounter in your day and also be willing to appropriately stand up to those who are committing acts of rudeness. It's what good parents do to train polite children, and perhaps these rude individuals have a deficit in their upbringing that needs to be addressed. I AM optimistic that people can be nicer, I see it all the time. Perception shapes reality - if you complain about rudeness a lot, you're going to notice it more often than someone who focuses on the good interactions with others.
Positive actions have business impact over time as well. If good employees leave companies for more pleasant, well mannered environments, eventually rude companies & environments will fail to thrive. Many companies are implementing programs with employees to teach good customer service. I can't help but think this 'on the job training' will spill over to other parts of a person's life.
Lastly, recognize that you experience your own behavior in interactions with others. You will enjoy & appreciate yourself more if you are kind and thoughtful to others you encounter during your day.
Pat Reilly - Rudness
2006-03-15 08:47:23
My former Director was so rude and nasty, I turned in my resignation. Fortunately for me, my work was so appreciated, the board president asked me why I was leaving and upon hearing my reasons, she had a friend of the directors' work with the director to change his behavior. However, it was not until the board gave the director the recommendation that he must attend a "how to win friends and influence people" type of program, that the situation changed - the director quit.
I now have a new director and it is just wonderful to come to work and be part of a team that is working to enhance the lives of others.
Kathryn Young - Rudeness at Work
2006-03-17 10:04:08
Thanks for addressing this topic. I work for the Veterans Health Administration, the VA system of hospitals and clinics across the country. We had data from 450 interviews and thousands of employee surveys that told us civility and respect were problems at all levels, despite years of focus on external customer service. We also had statistical evidence that more "civil" units and facilities had better patient satisfaction, as well as the expected employee satisfaction, retention, and fewer EEO complaints.

We are launching a major initiative on Civility and Respect, and the pilot results are very encouraging. The major finding is that people have just been unaware of the subtle things they do that offend others or come across as disrespectful. Sometimes this is a cultural difference; sometimes it is about status (physicians vs. nurses, e.g.). While the pilot sites have done lots of creative things in this initiative, simply setting aside 15-30 minutes on a regular basis for a work team to talk about what helps and what hinders respect pays off in spades. And many process problems are uncovered that can then be addressed.

One pilot site reported fewer call-ins. "Work is fun now--we want to be there!"
Bonnie - Rude emails from co-worker
2006-04-18 18:04:29
I have a co-worker at work who seems to think it is okay to degrade people and their work abilities by saying, in emails, that they cannot do a job. We have gone to hr about it, but nothing really happened. I just heard, today, that he was put on permanent probation. Well, today, he sent another rude email. I want to go to hr about it, but first I will go to my supervisor then his supervisor then to hr. His emails make everyone feel like they don't know what they are doing and they make everyone feel like they can't learn anything new - especially when it comes to his job! There are three people, currently, in the office who have an issue with her rudeness and her demanding behavior and her withholding information. I cannont wait to see how this plays out. My guess is they will slap him on the hand and that will be that! ARGH!P.S. I have asked him to talk to me face-to-face before, regarding issues that are making him angry, but he refuses.
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