Last year I wrote a column decrying the added fees that were buried in my cellular phone bills. The realization that I had financial parasites discreetly feeding off my cash flow motivated me to start paying more attention to my monthly bills.

So when a "Systems Analysis Charge" of $10 popped up on my monthly statement from US Bank, I suspected unauthorized access to my savings. I did not recall asking for an expert to pour over my "systems." In fact, I did not even realize I owned "systems" - who could guess that my personal checking account suddenly could be so complicated?

I picked up the phone and called my local US Bank branch. The poor woman who answered the phone couldn't figure out what a "Systems Analysis Charge" might mean, either. So she asked if it would be OK to take my phone number and call me back after she had a chance to research the mysterious charge.

Within the hour she had an answer. A client in Australia had wired a payment to my account. Somewhere in the transaction, I lost $25 for wiring fees. I can only assume those fees were levied by the Australian bank that originated the wire. The "Systems Analysis Charge" was an additional fee added on by my bank. The customer service agent explained to me that wires demand so much security these days that, in her words, "a real human being had to run a check on the veracity of the wire."

My sympathy for the bank immediately washed over the annoyance I was feeling at that stage. After all, if a REAL HUMAN BEING had to get involved, I would expect to pay a fee. I fully expect the bank to make revenue off my cash balance to pay for the NON-HUMAN, automatized services that it uses for day-to-day operations. Hey, I bet a real human being in Australia at the originating bank had to input the amount of the wire into a computer...yet another labor-intensive task the bank is justified to defray.

Shifting from cynicism to righteous anger, we're allowing financial institutions to get away with petty theft of our precious cash. Have you used your credit card overseas lately? I have, and Visa charges me a 1 percent charge whether or not a currency conversion was involved. MBNA recently announced that it will levy a 2 percent charge for its customers who shop overseas. Wait, we're not done being fleeced yet. Most major banks then add their own 2 percent charges on top of that, though they don't explain why. I'm guessing that a REAL HUMAN BEING has to get involved at some point of the transaction.

Being forced to pay twice for the right to use money that you will end up paying for anyway - with daily compounded interest - doesn't seem right. But that double-whammy is becoming standard practice. ATM machines have been doing that for years. Perhaps you have come to terms with paying $1.50 for withdrawing cash from another bank's ATM. But why does your own bank then feel justified to add another $1 to $2 surcharge? Several consumer class-action suits are challenging that business practice at present.

According to Business Week, fees will produce close to $2 billion added revenue for banks and $11 billion for credit card companies. Even hotels are getting in the act; they generated around $100 million in fees last year. Case in point: When I checked out from my overnight at a hotel (national chain) in Monterey, California, I noted a $10 "resort fee" added to my room charges. When I asked what my "resort fee" got me, I learned that it gave me access to its "health club" - a 10' x 10' room with a couple of exercise bikes and weight machines, which I didn't use - two water bottles in my room, and unlimited local telephone calls. At least I drank the water. But I got ripped off about $8 for services I didn't use. Am I really going to sit there and argue with the clerk about the charge?

Now, maybe I will. I'm fed up with being nickel-and-dimed to death. Yep, there's a resentment percolating in me, a REAL HUMAN BEING, and I'm ripe for a backlash. The average customer service call costs a company about seven bucks. The relative scarcity of people who do call in and challenge their bank statements - or hotel fees - make that a manageable cost. It's time to change the economics of customer service.

Ready, set, dial. I'll join you on hold.